I am entirely new to this, but I decided that I needed some way to chronicle my life’s journey. I feel an overwhelming need to make changes in my life and the way that I look at the world, specifically my world. I grew up in a family where the negative was always stressed. It was a Christian family that touted God’s glory, but only seem to acknowledge the things in life that were negative. I say the disconnect in this line of thought and its corresponding behavior early in life, but continue the pattern. Although I have a sunny disposition, I find myself looking at the half-empty glass instead of the half-full glass. For example, I recently had surgery and I am feeling incredibly good, yet when asked how I am, I say, “oh good except…” I am a 36 year old who talks and thinks like an 80 year old.
Second life lesson: be obliging to others, at my own expense, and to then lament openly to friends (well really anyone who will listen) about the ways in which people had “done me wrong” These dichotomous behavior contributed to the cognitive insolence that I experience to this day:~)
I am seeking to become more assertive, less emotionally labile and more controlled (in plain speak watch what the hell I say so that I do not spend eternity second guessing how I should have said it) and to celebrate the greatness of others without turning it into a statement of my own inadequacy.
This first blog has even taught ne that I find multiple ways to make everything about me! My aaha moment!
Wrapping it all up in 6 words…I am a work in progress!!